What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
