garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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