dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
