I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
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