it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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