You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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