Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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