Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
