Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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