Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
