making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
