nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
