I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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