yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
