Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
