You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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