# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
What a dumb baby whore.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize