Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
