Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
