I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
