He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
