Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
