Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
