Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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