it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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