it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
