Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
