To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i just google imaged poop.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
my being single is dangerous.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
