If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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