You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Who died my cat blue again?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
