is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize