Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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