I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
