My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
