I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
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