Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
