oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
