i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
