I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
