My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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