I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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