Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
