Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
she woke up with a sticky ear
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
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