i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
