I think my fart just growled at me.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
