he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I will die if light touches me.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize