I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
