arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
