He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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