I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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