Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
