Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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