hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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