How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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