Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
